The persons and stories contained within this text may be ficticious. Not all the stories are true and some are second hand, or rumours or even just plain made up. The characters may also not be real or perhaps are real but with made up names.

The following happened sometime between the dates of March 29th and April 1st.
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19:10pm

Sitting back in the van going through another plate of spaghetti bolognaise we are trying to summon up the energy to head out again for one last hurrah. Chelsea get a last second winner to the delight of Brad and John and to the annoyance of Farrah and Danny.

Andy and Ray walk in looking like they were two babies at playgroup who aged 30 years in a matter of seconds. Andy has a pink and brown striped jumper on and Rays is almost identical but in Sky and Dark blue. Theres a lot of kissing and hugging going on plus a few demonstrations of what rabbits do when they are not eating or sleeping. :oops:

21:30pm

It's the traditional visit to Angels lap dancing club which is not particulary exciting other than the bizarre sight of a man in there wearing sunglasses. A couple of beers and we head off to the Pier again. The clientele are very poor and it looks like a Deidre Barlow convention. Ray and Eddie spend their night rubbing up and down on a couple of local ‘uglies’ who are not interested in them whatsoever. Eddie makes an attempt with another woman who slips up in her high heels and goes arse over tit on the dancefloor.

23:25pm

I cannot physically take on board any more Guinness this weekend and as a result Im reduced to Orange Reef. I feel the tremors in the ground as my grandfathers spin in their graves.

Farrah gets a message from Terry saying that he has locked the caravan door but Im sure Terry is just kidding.

Gradually everyone leaves and its only me and Farrah left come closing time around 3:30am. As we start to head off I realise that someone has stolen my jacket. I ask security about it

“excuse me, I think someones lifted my jacket – do you have a lost property place anywhere”

“look mate if someones lifted it they are hardly likely to hand it to lost property are they ?”

“yes that's a good point, but it might have been one of the staff who saw it lying around and could have put it behind the bar”

“nope theres nothing behind the bar of yours - now get out” :x

Cheers.

Its freezing outside as Farrah and I head for some food and the only place open is the burger shop on the Pier. It looks like the Russian Roullette of fast food and the selection is hardly inspiring - hotdogs or Burgers and there are only one of each left. They have been warming nicely under the lights for the last eight hours probably. Farrah takes the dog , I take the last burger on the shelf. :?

April 1st

03:45am

Farrah has one of those ideas that sounds fantastic when you are drunk but are in fact totally stupid

“Im going to ring the girlfriend”

“chris its quarter to four !”

“yes but if she answers then it means that she loves me and if she doesn't answer then she dont!”

He procedes to ring her and she answers.

“SHE LOVES MEEEEEEE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!” at the top of his voice as Im trying to bundle him into the cab

4:05am

Back at the caravan site we end up bumping into a woman wrapped in a sleeping bag sitting outside a caravan. We get chatting as she thinks we are someone else and we waste 20 minutes of my life talking to her and her mate who is on crutches and cant move because of a broken ankle. This place is full of weirdos. :roll:

4:20am

Terry wasn't lying ! He has locked Farrah out of the van and they are refusing to get up while we knock hell out of the front door. Farrah ends up on our sofa while I plot some revenge by throwing bread on their caravan roof. The plan is that the birds will see it and peck the daylights out of the tin ceiling waking them all up at dawn – mu ha ha ha ha … :twisted:

5:20am

Farrah wakes me up by picking up the waste bin and chucking up in it for about 15 minutes. The hotdog special from the Pier has taken out another victim. Its a lovely sound to be woken by and what a lovely aroma as well……for gods sake someone crack open a window. :(

9:30am

Gary wakes me up sneaking round the house. He is panicked about the deposit so he disappears ‘ninja style’ out the front door while the rest are sleeping and speeds off in the car.

10.15am

Everyone else starts getting up. Brad is in a foul mood because some banging noise got him up at 6am and carried on for an hour. We don't have to be Kojak to work out that in my drunken stupor Ive gone and thrown the bread on the wrong roof ! :oops:

We pack up and put the spare beer in the car, no one really wants it at this point.

12:15pm

After getting packed we are off. We bump into Terry and co at the BP garage buying some sandwiches and see Farrah bent over double at the side of the road –still ill. Meanwhile in our car we manage to find time to criticise all of our own team one by one and then once we have exhausted that we start on other teams players as well. :D

15:20pm

Finally I make it home. Take out the bag, cue and duvet and say my goodbyes till the next time. We did pretty well, far better than I thought. The last 32 is not a bad effort and we were beating by one of the finallists so its quite an accomplishment. If we had taken a few chances we could have run them closer but thats how it goes. These single frame matches are all about getting in first and not missing and at this level you get punished for every mistake.

“do you want this Guinness that's left ??” says Brad

“err……oh go on then , I might have one during the football later on” :wink: