Arrving at the Thatched Cottage on Thursday the most burning question of the night was could The Reporter get his thumb out and actually win a frame seeing as he was on a run of four straight defeats. If you believe the rest of the team I had been giving it the large one that I was top of the averages a few weeks ago and king of the heap. Since then Ive turned into the Barcelona of the Irish club, looking good on paper but getting beat.

James Harness had told Brad this match against the Thatched was the ‘potential banana skin’ that we could easily slip on. It was looking to be a pretty impressive prediction as we found ourselves 3-0 down in 30 minutes!

Mr Averages was up first and lost yet again coming out of trap one. This time Steve ‘Dog’ Walton was the grateful opponent as Pat missed a reasonably simple black to the corner and let the Dog in for the opening frame.

Up next was Andy who served up a Shakespeare Tragedy of a frame against Steve Adams. Andys positional sense throughout looked like that of someone who had plugged their satnav in upside down. A hail mary double attempt on the last red summed it up as we watched it bounce harmlessly round the cushions allowing Steve to tap in the black and it was 2-0.

‘microwave’ Steve Payne was looking good to pull one back for the Irish but made a difficult cut look even more impossible as completely miss hit it. John Molley then stepped in and took out a very cool finish and Mystic Harness’ prediction was looking ominously accurate 3-0.

But this tide it was for turning and we were lucky to see Brad up against Chris ‘Farrah’ Fawcett. Chris had played twice against us in the home match and managed to be 8 balled off the break both times. Tonight was no exception as Brad broke off and took out a clearance that was so sweet four of our team had to be treated for diabetes. 3-1 and Chris ‘the handshake’ Fawcett was back in his seat.

John Shiel then made it 3-2 by beating Darren Beasley. John is on fire at the moment and was the only person not to lose a frame over the two matches with the Lady Haig.

We had all the momentum of a runaway juggernaut and the only thing that could stop it was yet another inept display from ‘Wonder’ Walls. With the handbrake firmly pulled the Wonder managed to take a frame he was in complete control off and chuck it down the gurgler. He even had the gall to pull out the old ‘it rolled off’ excuse as he missed a thin cut on a red that he had to pot across the length of the table. Steve Barber was the grateful receipient of this weeks “please let me play Keith, I could do with a win” charity match!

4-2 down at the break and captain Terry spread panic in the ranks by putting Andy in for the last frame and even worse, Keith “the wonder is how on earth he got another frame” Walls for the penultimate bully-off.
Pat went up against Steve Barber who was on for a quick double. But as he has done many times after blowing the opening frame, Pat came back to win in the second half and cut the gap to one – now the comeback was on!

Steve took out Darren despite no one knowing the rules off the break. Darren didn't connect properly and foul breaked. Steve then re-racked and had two shots but went in off the break. The debate went on as to whether Darren was entitled to two shots or one. I announced confidently that he gets two shots because the same thing had happened to me at the InterLeague last month and Uzzell had given my opponent two shots. So Darren took his two and in the middle of the frame Terry found out that I was in fact talking rubbish. So having chucked my first frame away I now made myself even more popular with the lads by giving two shots to our opponents. Thankfully Steve wasn't flustered and levelled the match at 4-4

It was Fawcett v Robinson II up next and the possibility off breaking and dishing Farrah for the fourth time in a row was too great a temptation to Brad who went for it but missed a tricky pot that would have made it a possibility. Chris fought back well but rattled the game ball and Brad once again completed a double on the night in some style. We had the lead at 5-4, Andy and I getting more nervous by the frame!

The two Johns (Molley and Shiel) got it on in the next frame and JM was unfortunate to give away two shots and a foul snooker. JS had the white moved and still had the foul snooker so lined up one of Molleys yellows. In a touching bit of sportsmanship JM shouted out “I haven’t heard anything yet” as John Shiel was cueing up alerting him to the fact that he hadn’t nominated the yellow. But JS copped a deaf’un and smacked into the ball causing an instant cry of “FOUL two visits”. Luckily for us JM missed a long red down the cushion for the frame which tickled the jaws but didn't drop and we pinched it for 6-4.

Another pool match and another week where the conversation between Andy I goes something like this

“you better not lose Andy/Wallsy you a-hole/bellend. I don't want to be playing last and need to win”

It must be the fourth of fifth time this season we have been through this.

Having been on a losing run of 5 frames and counting I decided that to hell with any sort of tactics I was just going to go back to what I know best – pot anything I can see as quickly as possible and to hell with the positioning or taking my time. I broke, Steve cleared a few balls but went in off a yellow and I went into “pot as many balls in one minute as you can” mode and finally got the monkey off my back. 7-4, game over - and the monkey was on last.

With the pressure off Andy put in an excellent clearance against Dog to make the score look a comfortable 8-4 when it was anything but. We nicked two scrappy frames that could have gone either way and that clinched it. I think the Thatcheds biggest mistake was that they put their weaker players (no offence to any of them) in the first three slots of the second half. John, Steve and Dog had won the first three frames for a 3-0 lead and each had played really well. By the time they were back on to play the last three the score was 5-4 to us. If they had put them in earlier against our big guns at 4-2 and kept themselves in front a bit longer it could have been different.

Oh and you know what you can do with that banana skin Harness :wink: