Two wins from two and time for our first home game of the season. It was more than just winnable it was also a chance to try and get as many points on the board as possible before we head into the tricky double header of London and Surrey. Arriving at a packed Rileys there were only two things on the A teams mind.

1.Could we continue the momentum and enter new terrain for Berkshire with a third win in a row

2.Could we avoid Alan King in case he wanted to tell us how he won the Slough singles the day before

It was going to take teamwork, concentration, focus and character to get through it. As for winning the match, well that was going to take some work as well.

Pat Phelan was ‘on holiday’ after last months black debacle and so Vikas could no longer sit on the sidelines trying to protect his 100% record. He was going to have to play as well as organise the squad. Everything else was much as it has been so far this season with the usual suspects in place for a crack at Sussex.

A 4-1 lead was quickly levelled up at 4-4. Keith had left his opponent an inch of the bottom cushion and a black tight to the side rail but three inches up from the middle. His opponent slammed it in without a care. That was disheartening enough but when Brad showed up to say that Vikas told him he was disappointed Keith “had left a straight forward black” we knew that our Maharajah in Chief was now ruling this squad with an Iron Fist – no slacking tolerated. We ended the first quarter 6-5 up.

Sefton was on one of his going days and his only hiccup was to lose in the second quarter. It didn’t look like anything could stop him all afternoon. Only an Icelandic volcano or a commentators curse from the most hated man in pool Brad Robinson would stop him getting 4 out of 4 today. As he teed up the black the MHMIP stepped in behind him with a cue in his hand like a mock grim reaper and said “don’t worry Sefton doesn’t miss these”. It rattled and hung over the pocket to a delighted smile from Seftons opponent. Despite this blip Sefton would still get 3 from 4. The little stun run through on the final red in the first frame was a sublime shot Sefton.

But from that lost frame onwards it was all us. We put up eight in a row and ended the half at 14-8. G took out a tricky little finish in good style and Craigy introduced William Ashman to his patented “flick ball, get double kiss, park white behind black for full ball snooker” trick shot. Scott Matthews was putting on his one man show entitled “how to clear up without a care in the world for positioning” and once Mo cleared on the other table we were in full flow. Bradley ‘Bear’ and Scott ‘the dogs’ were practically high fiving each other between shots as the pair of them managed 4 out of 4 and took the player of the match honours.

It was down to Vid to provide some amusement. Normally with Vid on the table it’s a good time to go for a pee or order some food but after he won his game he got involved in an incident while time keeping for Rob Sparks. With the sussex player taking out a nice clearance it was only a chinesed black that needed to be potted. But as he cued up and struck it he ran the cue over the top of a red moving it a few inches forwards and then dragging it back again. A foul was called and as the black had gone in it was frame to Rob. The Sussex player was not happy with the call as Vid was timekeeper and second ref. But Vid and 8 other witnesses including his own team should have been enough to put it to bed. After a few minutes of discussion that would have put the John F Kennedy ‘magic bullet’ theory to shame the Sussex player turned his wrath onto Vid and moaned about the state of his timekeeping and tried to angle for a re rack. He was building up a magnificent case for the defense and almost had Vikas agreeing to a rerack until he dropped a clanger.

Remember that courtroom scene with Jack Nicholson in A Few Good Men ? Tom Cruise keeps Jack on the stand and eventually he gets so annoyed with the questions he cracks and ends up blurting out something that wrecks his own defense – “TRUTH ! YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH”. Well in this one he went with “YOU WERE TOO BUSY WATCHING SKY SPORTS”. It might have worked too if it wasn’t for the fact that

A: there is no Sky Sports in Rileys

B: none of the TVs round the room actually work in Rileys- they are all turned off.

Important note here people – remember when you are time keeping that you are the ‘second’ ref so keep ‘em peeled. That goes out especially to John Shiel.

Having had our regular lunch order and chance to pee ruined we took it our frustrations on the baize and rattled off 17 of the next 22 frames to give a final score of 31-13 and a new Berkshire A all comers record !!

So cheers go to all the A team who all recorded 2 out of 4 or better , jeers go to the two Rileys staff who for the second home match running called in sick and left just two people to serve 100 players all day. Ridiculous. They did this to us last season as well.

London next month and the current UK champions. Its going to be tough but if we can avoid Alan all day beat Sussex, Hampshire and Kent then we can do it. (only joking Al , well done).