Men A:
Won 23 v 21

Carrying a 100% record for the first time in about 10 years , the Berkshire A team headed to Hampshire to play the team that were allegedly the favourites to win region 7 (according to Surrey Pools website). Having won our first match against Kent it was time to see a few of the glory hunters come out of the woodwork to play for us now that we had a sniff of maybe getting to the nationals at Yarmouth next year. So Vid , Pat Phelan and Scott Yardley were suddenly in the fold and had made the starting XI down at sunny Portsmouth. Vikas benched himself in a cleverly disguised attempt to preserve his own 100% record.

If 1 out of 1 wasn’t enough incentive , what better reason to get stuck into Hampshire than to arrive for a 1pm start and then hang around like a bunch of spare ones at a wedding while Hampshire decided to hand out all their county trophies !! Im all for the odd presentation etc etc but for flips sake , after 90 minutes driving and facing the same drive or worse back home you really don’t want to be stood around for ages listening to "and best B team cue chalker of the year award goes to ….. Keiron D Community"

When it was all over and at about 1.45 pm there was only one thing for it. It was time to open the oven of shame , stick their heads in it and set it to gas mark 'egg on your face'

Having seen the two main tables it was tough to figure out whether it was a pool hall or a tanning salon. A few of us nipped into Boots for some Amber Solaire and once we were creamed up the game was on. In no time at all we had raced into a four frame lead as Vid and Rob Sparks amongst others got off the mark. Brad "did a Brad" and showed that he is taking his "most hated man in pool" sideshow on a tour of region 7 this season as he cleared from nowhere to help the score along. Justin Stokes , Keith Walls , Scott Yardley and Pat Phelan all helped push us merrily along and at the halfway break we were pulling away.

In fact the biggest worry Berkshire had was the fact that Keith Walls was now 6 from 6 for the season and in danger of losing his voice going on about it. Even random strangers in Hampshires C team were not immune from another 'exciting episode' of how he had potted the last black.

Sefton threw in a couple of his party pieces to pick up a couple of frames and once Giuseppe added another we were six frames clear. Craig Wilson who obviously found two shots on an off straight black to the middle not enough of a challenge , opted to hit the knuckle followed by whamming it in the length of the rail. Everything was going our way and at 22-14 it was a case of just how many could the trouncing be ??

And then the wheels fell off. Keith got dished for a second time after being dished off his own break in the third quarter. Hampshire suddenly started playing the way that favourites should be and from being comfortable at 22-14 the gap closed rapidly. 22-14 became 22-18 and after yet another Hampshire clearance we were suddenly staring a possible draw in the face at 22-20. Craig Wilson was on table one so we wrote that off straight away and instead all eyes were on Pat "I brought the wife and kids with me and now Im wishing I hadnt" Phelan. Hampshire had us in all sorts of panic and when Pat played a cunning safety shot where his opponent could only just see the entire black and two inches of space either side of it (!) it had 22-21 written all over it. As the Hampshire player cued up the straight black you could have heard a pin drop, until Chris Fawcett yelled "FOUL !!!!" at the top of his voice. For some reason after putting his hand on the table and cueing up to the white the player extended his thumb and accidently touched Pats yellow an inch to the right of the cue ball. Two shots to us and the sort of easy smooth finish normally found on Heather McCartneys leg. As Pat cued up the straight black three inches from the middle we were in celebration mode which was as much relief as satisfaction. Until of course Pat decided to punch the ball to the centre where it hit the back of the pocket and bounced out. No one could believe it. Hampshire went nuts and were left with a tricky cut down the rail. We all looked to Craigs table to see what state he was in but luckily the black was overcut , rattled in the jaws and shot across the table to hang over the opposite corner. Pat held his nerve to drop it in and we fell over the finish line.

Craig lost on the other table to give a final score of 23-21 to Berkshire. Two wins from two and its Sussex at home next month. Who knows what medal grabbing Mutleys might turn up to Rileys Reading in a few weeks time ??? Well done everyone.

Man of the Match - The entire A team for resisting the temptation to punch Pat in the sweetbreads after missing that black.